FOMO VS JOMO
Are you afraid you’re missing out or relieved to be staying in? Here’s how to get the balance right
No plans for the weekend? No problem! For many of usstaying in is the nevv goingout – particularly in the post-Christmas period when the sofa and TV seem so much more appropriate and appealing than yet another big night on the tiles. The experience even has its own acronym, JOMO (joy of missing out). It’s the polar opposite of FOMO (fear of missing out): a lot of our friends may be out partying, enjoying last-minute winter breaks or catching up over dinner, but vve really couldn’t çare less. Or could vve?Unlike FOMO, JOMO hasn’t yet been avvarded an entry in the Oxford English Dictionary. Defined as ‘anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currentlybe happening elsewhere, often aroused byposts seen on social media’, FOMO earnedits place in 2013. We’re all familiar with the feeling. Home alone, you idly check Facebook or Instagram and find yourself scrolling through a series of glamorous selfies, cocktails and infinity pools. Everyone else seems to be out there. having the time of their lives – and you’realready curled up in your pyjamas in frontof Pointless Celebrities.
REALITY CHECK
Recent times have seen a backlash against this 21 st-century version of ‘keeping upwith the Joneses’, hovvever, and we’re wising up to the ways of the social media show-offs. We’ve now come to realise that these bragging posts are invariably a rose-tinted version of what’s really happening. After all, if people are really so caught up in these magical moments, why do they feel the need to stop and advertise the fact on Facebook? Indeed, people who take a break from Facebook become happier, more decisive and less stressed after just one week, according to a 2014 Danish study. So maybe it’s the friends who aren’t treating us all to a blow-by-blowaccount of their weekends vve should really be envying.But is accepting that a night out may not be as attractive as it’s painted really a good enough reason to stay in all the time?When it’s cold outside and your bank balance and vvaistline are stili recovering from the festive season, it can be tempting to turn dovvn every invitation, or make a last-minute excuse about being tired. and effectively lie on the sofa and vvait for spring to arrive. Sometimes, though, it’s important to make an effort. When it comesto maintaining our psychological vvellbeing, meeting up with close friends is just as important as knowing when it’s vviser to stay home.
When Can I Travel to South Africa? FOMO VS JOMO Photo Gallery
GET A BALANCE
The key, of course, is to strike a healthy balance betvveen staying connected and taking some time out for yourself. ‘If we’re constantly searching out the next form of external amusement, vve fail to nurture our own sense of vvellbeing and contentment,’ says psychotherapist Hilda Burke (hildaburke.co.uk). ‘It’s not a question of staying in versus going out, so much as being happy with vvhat we’re choosing to do at any given time. When we’re more in tüne with What vve genuinely need. FOMO becomes less of a drive.’And when you do opt to stay home, there are plenty of vvays to make the occasion more meaningful and psychologically nourishing. Just as you’d strive to get the most from a big night out, try to get the most from your quiet night in. Take the opportunity to meditate, do some yoga, bake a cake, play a musical instrument, vvrite a letter, read a book or, yes, watch Pointless Celebrities – do vvhatever it takes to make you feel relaxed and refreshed.
SHELF HELP
Each issue, vve bring you the best advice from the self-help classics.
This month vve look at The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (£8.99, Random House).
In a nutshell: This book argues the key to an effective exercise regime, sustained vveight loss, revvardingrelationships and a successful career lies in understanding how habits vvork. Avvard-vvinning vvriter Duhigg explains hovv each habit vve form – vvhether it’s overeating or prioritising the vvrong tasks at vvork- can be broken dovvn into three steps: cue, routine and revvard. By assigning nevv cues and revvards, vve can establish nevv routines.
A nugget: Change can be tough, but most habits can be reshaped.
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