Red River Gorge Hiking Trail Map

Micro Less than 100ml in volume. Usually an old 35mm film canister. Somebody had to find a use for those plastic tubes once we ditched celluloid and went digital with our photos.

Small More than 100ml, but less than one litre. A small plastic sandwich box.

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If the cache inside turns out to be a fresh salmon with caviar on a bed of micro-lettuce sandwich, then you really have found treasure. If it’s before its sell-by date, even better.

Regular More than one litre, but less than 20 litres. Typically shoebox-size. Hikers get excited when the contents are a pair of boots, their size, and newer than the pair they’re wearing.

Large More than 20 litres. Typically a bucket. Usually with an animal eating the cache out of it.

To sound authoritative, bluffers should remind their audience that geocaching is not about ‘finders keepers’. Some caches, especially the micro-caches, are merely log sheets where geocachers record their name and the date they found the non-existent treasure. (Yes, even if there isn’t any, it’s still called ‘treasure’. ) The log sheet is more environmentally friendly than scratching ‘I woz ‘ere’ in the bark of a tree, or gouging it into a nearby boulder. The larger caches may have items contained within them, as well as a log sheet, or logbook.

Unlike real treasure, the rule of geocaching insists that if you take something from the cache, then you must replace it with something else of equal or higher value. Over a period of many years, it presumably follows that the geocacher who originally hid the treasure could find that his or her initial treasure of a paper clip has turned into the deeds for a six-bedroom apartment, with pool, in Miami.

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