Never fill your water bottle from the fast-flowing, cool waters of that crystal-clear mountain stream.
It may look idyllic as it drops over the rocks in a pure and refreshing way, but the dead sheep rotting half a mile upstream will ensure that you remember your hike for many days to come. Water filters enable you to work up your own sweat as you pump the stream water ferociously through the microscopic filters, producing less pure water than you’ve just lost.
These help you study the map when your afternoon hike takes a little bit longer than expected. PENKNIFE
Penknives come with nail files, corkscrews, bottle openers and a long, thin, pointy thing for getting stones out of horses’ hooves.
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They’d be more useful if they had a built-in mobile-phone charger or a quick-brew tea-making facility.
Life on the hills can be dangerous, which means that a basic first-aid kit with bandages, antiseptic wipes, suture and needle kits, painkillers, plasters, latex gloves and insect repellent should be carried at all times. Defibrillators may be taking things too far. Always keep a spare £20 note in your first-aid kit. It is useful in an emergency situation when you discover that your walking companions have all accidentally left their wallets behind, and it’s your turn to buy the next round of drinks.